Sometimes the hardest part of hiring a babysitter is telling your kids someone new is coming over.
Whether it’s their first time with a babysitter or their fiftieth, all children will have their own response to a new caregiver. Some can’t wait to show off their LEGO collection, while others may express their disapproval at a volume the whole neighborhood can hear. Whichever way your child leans, a quick conversation about what to expect can make things easier for everyone.
As you prepare for the sitter’s first job with your family, you can let your kids know who the sitter is, what to expect, and when you'll be back. When you take a calm and confident approach, your child might open up to the idea of a new sitter, and some might even be excited! Here are age-appropriate ways to have the conversation so you can head out the door with peace of mind.
Tell them ahead of time
Children tend to do better with change when they have a little time to adjust. Think about how you feel when plans suddenly change—it can be disorienting, leading to a lot of questions and feelings. We know that children aren't all that different. When you take a minute to consider their feelings, share information, and hear them out, the evening can run smoother.
The exact timing of your conversation depends on the age of your child and, of course, the child themselves. For younger children, the sweet spot might be earlier in the day, on the same day of the sitter's job. For older children, you might plan to chat a day or two ahead of time. Give the kids a heads-up without leaving too much time for anxiety to brew.
Talking to toddlers and preschoolers
Any toddler mom can confirm, this spunky age group tends to be focused on what's happening right now, in the immediate moment. So, for 2 to 4 year olds, maintaining your child’s routine is usually more important than what you say about a new sitter. You can spend a little extra time ensuring the sitter has a detailed schedule so the night can be as predictable as possible.
If you do discuss the new sitter with your toddler or preschooler, you might say something like:
"Ms. Shana is coming over after dinner. She’s funny, she has red hair like Ariel, and she loves dogs. You will play hide-and-seek, read books, and then she'll help you get ready for bed. After that, mommy and daddy will be home to tuck you in.”
If your child has a favorite stuffed animal or blanket, make sure it's available for them when the visit starts. These special objects can provide a lot of comfort when something feels new.
Talking to school-age kids
When talking to kids ages 5 to 10 about a new sitter, cue all the questions. Kids in this range may ask why you're leaving, how long you'll be gone, what the babysitter is like, and….where the sitter goes to school, how you met them, what color their eyes are, and what they like for breakfast. You get the idea. In this case, providing details can make the sitter feel familiar before they arrive.
Something like "Erica has worked with the Lionel family up the street for years. She’s in school at Emory, where dad went, and loves board games." or "She plays soccer too, and is excited to hear about your season." can help paint the picture of who this person is. Plus, older kids enjoy feeling like they’re part of the process—looping them in helps build trust.
Follow your child's lead
When it comes to a new babysitter, some kids will have lots of questions and other may barely react at all. (Hint: pause Toy Story 4 when you try to connect!) Both responses are normal and you probably already know what to expect from your unique kiddo.
If you find your child wants to know more about the new sitter, answer honestly! Tell them who the sitter is and what they enjoy doing. If your child doesn't seem particularly interested, there's no need to keep explaining. A simple question like, "Do you have any questions about tonight?" is enough to gauge how kids are feeling.
Consider a quick meet-and-greet
If your child is feeling nervous about a new babysitter—or if it's your family's first time hiring one—you might consider scheduling a meet-and-greet. This can be a brief video call before the job, or a 15-30-minute visit.
For younger children, meeting the babysitter ahead of time can make the transition feel less abrupt. Older children may appreciate the opportunity to get a sense of the sitter's personality.
Not to mention, a meet-and-greet can help you feel more confident, too. You’ll walk through routines, give a quick tour, and observe how the sitter interacts with your child. If scheduling an in-person visit isn't practical, just a short video introduction can help put a face to a name before the big day. This is just one of a few ways to prepare for a new babysitter.
When the kids don’t want a new sitter
So you found time for a quick conversation, kept it simple and positive, and still…the kids insist they’d rather not have a new sitter. And they’re being loud about it. We get it: that can be tough to hear, especially when you've put time and energy into finding the right fit. Before jumping into reassurance mode, try getting curious. For older kiddos, get to the root of what they’re feeling by asking something like: "What feels hard about it?"
It might be that the kids are nervous about meeting someone new, or that they’re disappointed you're leaving. Sometimes they're worried they'll miss you, even if they can't quite put that feeling into words.
Once you understand what's behind the reaction, you can respond in a more helpful fashion. You might reinforce some of your initial conversation—reminding them what the evening will look like and talking about something fun they can do with the sitter. You don’t need to solve the problem in the moment. You’ve let your child know they’re heard, and it’s okay if they're still not thrilled about the plan. They can feel a little uncertain and still have a great evening.
For kids with separation anxiety
Some kids have a harder time with goodbyes than others. If your child gets upset when you leave, it doesn't always mean they're not ready for a babysitter. They may just need a little extra support during the transition.
Giving your child a small job when the sitter arrives can be a welcome distraction. Ask them to show the sitter where the snacks are, introduce the family pet, or choose the first game to play. Having a role shifts their focus from the goodbye to what's happening next. You can also talk about one specific thing they're looking forward to doing with the sitter—like baking cookies, building a fort, or reading a favorite book together.
When the sitter arrives, it might make sense to spend a few extra minutes to ease the transition. For certain kids, this time with their parents and the sitter can feel comforting. But for others, drawing out the goodbye just makes it harder. Consider your child’s disposition in other scenarios—like at school drop-offs or a grandparents house—when deciding how long to stick around.
Whether you choose to play for a minute or head out the door, keep your exit warm and brief. It can be tempting to slip out while your child is distracted, but children do better when they know what's happening. A big hug and kiss, paired with a reminder that you'll be back, makes goodbyes easier over time.
Check in afterward
After the big night with the new babysitter, check in with your kids. You can ask:
- What did you and the sitter do?
- What was the most fun part?
- Did anything make you laugh?
- Would you like to see them again?
Sometimes you'll get a detailed recap of every game they played. Other times you'll get a shrug and a request for a snack. Either is fine, and as their parent, you’ll probably intuit how they felt about the experience right away. No matter their response, try to remember that getting comfortable with a new caregiver can take time.
Adjusting as the parent
Trusting someone else to care for your child is a big step, especially if it's your first time hiring a babysitter. It's normal to feel a little uncertain before a new sitter arrives, and even during the job (hourly text updates, anyone?). That's why many families take care to learn about their sitter beforehand, read reviews, and get a sense of who they'll be welcoming into their home. Don’t forget to discuss communication preferences with your sitter before you leave, too. Some parents find peace of mind with periodic updates, and others would prefer to put the phone down and enjoy the night.
Ready to take the leap with a new babysitter?
Now that you’ve got the skills to handle the conversation and introduction, it’s time to book your next babysitter.
Browse caregiver profiles, read reviews from other families, and connect with local sitters on SitterTree.